A Blossom Bible Podcast
A Blossom Bible Podcast
Mark 10:1-16---Divorce and Divine Intent: Understanding Marriage Through Jesus' Teachings
All right, mark, chapter 10, verse 1. Last week we talked about hell, this week we'll talk about divorce. So yay, it's God's word. All right, mark. Chapter 10, verse 1. We are cruising through the book of Mark and you know the move is toward Jerusalem Chapter 10, as Jesus is heading towards Jerusalem. It's not a fast walk that we're doing there.
Speaker 1:In chapter 10, jesus has ministry in the area known as Judea. Now other gospels spend more time on it. Mark has one chapter, but this time period in Judea seems to be about six months, so we're not told everything. But there are some occurrences that Mark wants to point us to, and so that's the background here. We read in verse one then Jesus arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan, and multitudes gathered to him again and, as he was accustomed, he taught them again. So easy to picture. Here Jesus is taking time to teach the people, anyone who would come to hear him, and we can just imagine the sweetness of that, to hear him. And we can just imagine the sweetness of that Jesus teaching about heaven, about the heart of the Father, about his mission, all these different things. We got to know that it was good, as Jesus sat there and taught the multitudes. I know it was good. And all at once in verse two, all at once in verse 2, nasty old Pharisees come. Here we go, verse 2.
Speaker 1:The Pharisees came and asked him Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? Testing him. So all in the sweetness of teaching with Jesus, all so sweet, the multitude's just hanging on every word. The Pharisees come and they ask a question, testing him. The Pharisees were good at this, testing Jesus. They're trying to trap Jesus. That word testing means to test, with the intention of making something fail. Right, a little different than in school, right? Your teachers generally don't test you to make you fail. It's not good for you, it's not good for them. But it's more of a testing. Maybe you would do with metal or something like that. You want to see how far this stuff will hold up. And so testing here. The Pharisees asked Jesus a question. Their intention is to trap him and the question is about divorce. Again, their motive to trap him. So this just doesn't sound fun in any kind of way. They ask him a question there to make him fail. They ask him a question there to make him fail. Now, maybe their motive in this was they knew that Jesus' perspective on marriage and divorce was strict, stricter than most people in that world and most people in our world. Maybe they thought of John the Baptist. You'll remember John the Baptist said it like it was. He told Herod Herod, it's not right for you to have stolen your brother's wife, it's not right for you, you're wrong. And what did it do for John the Baptist? It got him killed. So maybe they want Jesus to put his opinion out there, his ideas out there, in front of everybody. That area was Herod's area, judea there. Maybe they were trying to get him killed in that kind of way. Whatever it is, we know that their intention on this is not good. They wanted him to fail. Intention on this is not good. They wanted him to fail. So divorce, like it would be today, back then was a charged topic. The Pharisees come asking a question and the question is pretty simple Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? Now, in Matthew, chapter 19, a few words are added to this. A little more is told. They say is it lawful to divorce your wife for any reason? Right, that's different. That's even worse than what they're asking here. But you know it was a charged topic and their reference was Deuteronomy 24, verse 1 and 2.
Speaker 1:Not much is said about marriage and divorce, especially in the Bible. But in Deuteronomy 24, verse 1, it says this when a man takes a wife and marries her and it happens that he finds no favor, she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house. So not a command, but instruction on divorce. Here Moses tells the people when a guy takes a wife and she finds no favor, some uncleanness, and he sends her out of the house, this is what needs to happen. And what is spoken of after this is some more instructions on divorce. But the idea here is not that it's approved by God or encouraged by God, but evil men are going to do it, evil women are going to do it. We're all going to fail and in marriage and divorce sometimes that does happen. So with the idea that people are going to do it, people are going to divorce, there's some instruction. But for argument's sake let's just look at this what we're told in Deuteronomy 24.
Speaker 1:I guess I should have you turn there. You can hold your place here. Deuteronomy 24, verse 1. When a man this is 24, verse 1. I guess it would take you a second to find it. Deuteronomy 24, verse 1. A man takes would take you a second to find it. Do you remember 24, verse 1? A man takes a wife and marries her. It happens that she finds no favor in his eyes, some uncleanness, and that was the big debate here. For these guys, what does uncleanness mean? If a person might get divorced because of uncleanness, what does that mean? And you know the story.
Speaker 1:There were two schools of thought in the day, two teachers, a guy named Rabbi Shema and Rabbi Hillel. Shema said uncleanness is unfaithfulness, infidelity in marriage. That's the uncleanness here. So if a man finds that his wife has been untrue, he could divorce her. Hillel was a little different. You know, hillel, he was a liberal, right? He said uncleanness could be anything. It could be if she doesn't make his favorite dinner, uncleanness it could be. You know she doesn't keep the house clean like he wishes. She would right Uncleanness. And even to the point of I found somebody prettier than her uncleanness of. I've found somebody prettier than her uncleanness. And go figure. Most men took Rabbi Hillel's teaching to heart. Uncleanness was anything that just didn't please you For any reason. You could divorce your wife and this, of course, was a proof text of this. It gave them liberty to do whatever they wanted.
Speaker 1:Now, the idea of uncleanness is any kind of deficiency, and that's what that word means. But here's the thing we all have deficiencies. That's one thing you learn about being human. We all fall short, right, deficiency. One of the big things in marriage that sometimes shakes you up is the morning after you get married. You wake up and you realize you get bedhead, you have bad breath in the morning. No, my wife does not get bedhead. You know you have bad breath in the morning. Now, my wife does not get bedhead or have bad breath. She doesn't get eye boogers or anything like that. But one thing you notice. One thing you notice is we're all deficient, we're all flawed human beings, and so this uncleanness, this uncleanness, we're all messed up right In 28 years. Well, actually, we acquired this saying early on. We've acquired a saying sometimes I wake up grumpy. You know how to finish this right. Other times I just let him sleep and you know this is it, this is life, right, sometimes we have good attitudes and sometimes I'm just not very sweet, right?
Speaker 1:And yet this was their proof text of why they should be able to separate imperfection and notice. Jesus asked them the question verse three he answered and said to them Jesus answers the question with a question, which is great, that's Jesus style, right there, and he says what did Moses command you? And they said well, moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to dismiss her. Deuteronomy 24, right? And Jesus answered and said to them it's because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. It's because you are selfish, you are sinful, you are wicked, and that's why Moses permitted divorce Permitted but not commanded. Right here the Pharisees say Moses did permit us. In Matthew we find that some of them said he commanded a certificate of divorce be given, and that's another story altogether. Isn't it In Matthew's gospel? There he commanded.
Speaker 1:Isn't it funny how we can take something that involves even our own wickedness and selfishness and see it as somehow a spiritual obligation. Selfishness and see it as somehow a spiritual obligation, right? I've heard plenty of people say things like well, god told me to divorce my wife. And you're like absolutely not, god would never tell you to do that for lots of reasons. But they go. Oh, but it's spiritual. I'm being spiritual in this. I'm hearing from the Lord. This is what God told me. It's amazing how evil we can get, calling evil good and good evil. So that's their response and it's pretty sorry.
Speaker 1:But notice Jesus, he discusses this further. This regulation was because of the hardness of your heart. God knows your stubbornness and your selfishness, your insistence on evil. And God permitted you Now in that God laid down more regulations, we'll talk about in a little bit that God laid down more regulations, we'll talk about in a little bit. But Jesus points them to the deeper command Notice verse 6,. But from the beginning of creation, god made them male and female, and for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. They are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate. So Jesus says well, here's the real answer, guys, what did Moses command? Well, you gave me Deuteronomy 24, but really you should have gone further back to Genesis, chapter 1.
Speaker 1:Now, Genesis, also penned by Moses. Genesis, exodus, leviticus, numbers and Deuteronomy they're all written by Moses. So where was the original command? Well, it was all the way back in Genesis, chapter 1, verse 27. And we reference that here. If you're not in Mark, you can get in Mark. We reference that in verse 6.
Speaker 1:At the beginning of creation, god made them male and female Genesis 1, 27. In the beginning, god created a relationship. He saw that man was alone and he saw that it wasn't good. So God created woman, and this is where we read he made them male and female. And he establishes this relationship of marriage very simply between one man and one woman. Right, this discusses a lot of modern issues. Right, it makes polygamy not biblical. Right, because there was only one man and one woman. It obviously makes homosexuality unbiblical, a sin, because there was only one man and one woman. No other options involved in this. Marriage was established as a good part of God's creation. That's important for us to consider, because marriage gets a lot of bad raps, but God created it as good. We mess it up, but God created it as good. One man, one woman for one life.
Speaker 1:Now, in verse 7, jesus goes on to quote Genesis, chapter 2, verse 24, quoting the words of God through Moses, for two becoming one flesh. Leaving father and mother, that's an important part in marriage. For someone who's a father, that's a little heartbreaking, right, but our kids would leave father and mother and be joined to their spouse and the two become one flesh. So it's leaving and cleaving is the words used here, but it's like two lumps of clay, and this is childish, I know, but I've got a blue lump of clay and a pink. This is man and woman, right, and I want to just demonstrate this. All right, because it's cute. Right, the two become one flesh. Behold, right, two balls of clay becoming one. Ha ha, ha ha. They should use this in a wedding, right, just get right there and start playing with Play-Doh. Right, and here it is. Ho Behold, the marriage of two balls of clay. The two become one flesh.
Speaker 1:God joins two distinct people and makes one family unit. And notice in verse 9 what Jesus says about this. God joins two distinct people and makes one family unit. And notice in verse nine what Jesus says about this. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.
Speaker 1:Now another picture is here, if you can handle, another picture in the words what God has joined together, it's another picture of marriage. Right, joined together. It's actually we could use the word yoked what God has. Yoked together, joined together. And in agriculture, you know, you would take two animals, two oxen let's just say I think that's the right plural of the word ox, oxen and you would join them together with a brace connecting both of them. Now picture this. This is marriage Two individuals working together for a common cause.
Speaker 1:This is what marriage is supposed to be. This is why Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6 that you shouldn't be unequally yoked in marriage, specifically with an unbeliever, because here you are two people wanting to live for God's glory. Right? You're a new creation in Christ, created for good works. Ephesians 2.10 says so. God has good works for you as a person, but when you get married, god has good works for you as a couple. But when you get married, god has good works for you as a couple and you're joined together in that. That's a great way to look at marriage. What is God calling us to do? Let's do it together, right? That should be the way marriage is, and God makes it good. He made it good, he made it beautiful. Now that's marriage Two becoming one, two joining together for a common purpose. But then verse 10. And this is good. This is good. Verse 10. In the house. So all the crowds go away and the Pharisees disappear In the house.
Speaker 1:His disciples also asked him again about this same matter. So they got questions. His disciples were like we heard what you said about marriage and divorce, what about that? And they asked some deeper questions, maybe about the second part of Deuteronomy, 24 there, which basically says this In verse 11, jesus explains it. It's great to come to Jesus with your questions. So he said to them whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. So some pretty hard words here. But I think they kind of apply to what's mentioned in the end of Deuteronomy, chapter 24, verses one through four. That here's the picture.
Speaker 1:If you get divorced permitted for the hardness of our hearts if you get divorced and you get remarried, you should not return to the first husband or wife. And you know that just seems like extra information. Why? Well, I think the reason is kind of here is you're just kind of making a mockery of the whole thing. What happens if you go and marry someone else? And you said well, that was a mistake, I'm going to go back to the original person and remarry them. You're kind of just making a legitimate adultery in that. You're kind of just saying none of it really matters, I'm going to do what I want. You get married. Well, I have God's blessing. You get married. Well, then you're going to go back into the other person. You get married again. I have God's blessing. And you're really putting God's stamp on the whole thing. Our just kind of who cares what? It's meaningless, I'll be with who I want to be with, I'll do what I want to do. God blesses it and God says, no, you can't do that. You just can't do that.
Speaker 1:There's consequences to our decisions. So these are all hard things. They have to do with the stubbornness of our hearts, the selfishness it always includes selfishness, at least on behalf of one person's selfishness. There's hurt, there's destruction, all these things. Well, where are we in our world today?
Speaker 1:Well, statistic that I looked up this morning says 33% of marriages end in divorce. And you're thinking, I know you're thinking, wait a second. I heard that over 50% of marriages end in divorce. That was true. Well, is it a revival? No, less people are getting married now than before. More people decide. You know what, forget marriage altogether, let's just live together, and when we get sick of each other we'll just move out. No harm done. Right Now, obviously that's not true, but that's what's going on in our world.
Speaker 1:Marriage has such a bum rap that we just most people just do away with it altogether. And yet you look and you go. But God designed this for good. We make it so ugly. There's so much hurt from all these things, and I know God grieves. We'll talk about that in a second. But essentially it's the cheapening that God was wanting to guard against in the first place.
Speaker 1:Now, here we see what happens again when two lives come together as one. Now you could say that happens in marriage. Paul says this 1 Corinthians 6.15. 1 Corinthians 6.15. Paul says this, and you can listen or you can turn or whatever, but just track with it. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not. Do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For the two, he says, shall become one flesh, but he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him. So Paul gives us another use of this verse the two become one. He says Corinthians I know it's the Corinthian way to go visit a harlot sexual immorality. But here's something you have to know when you join up with someone in sexual intimacy, you become one with them.
Speaker 1:Now, it's not marriage. I don't think we should ever put on that that that equals marriage, because it doesn't. But two coming together joins their flesh together. Paul says there's something that happens in our mind and in our spirit, whatever it is to become one flesh. Now, it's not marriage, but there is that bond that happens. So in a world where people don't care about marriage but still engage in sexual intimacy outside of marriage, there's still a bond that happens.
Speaker 1:So let's just take our demonstration of two becoming one again and let's consider divorce. Right, we're going to separate these two, oh please. Well, there's some blue, ok. There's some pink, ok, there's some pink, I bet probably turn gray, I don't know what it would become. And you look at this and you go.
Speaker 1:What happens when you try to separate this mess? Lots of pain I'm just going to say that looks pretty painful for the ball and lots of turmoil and tragedy. And we go. That's exactly what God knew was going to happen. The two become one. You take those two and you rip them apart. It's not going to be clean, it's not going to be pretty, and God knows what these things are made for. And he says don't do it. Don't do it, it's not what you were made for. Now it happens and there's so much pain and so much grief and I just picture the heaviness in the room as Jesus, oh, he knows what's best and he's there in that room and he's explaining these things to his disciples. And I just got to think, you know, it kind of just weighs on your heart when you think about all the people you know or whatever that have been through it and you go pain, suffering tears, and you go pain, suffering tears, all these things. And I see Jesus and you know most of our Bibles. It just stops right there and we could go on to the next study next week and say this is a good place to stop, but I think it's actually attached. Notice verse 13. We're going to attach it all, right.
Speaker 1:Then they brought little children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. They're kind of lame and doing that, by the way, but anyways. But jesus saw it and was greatly displeased and said to them let the little children come to me, do not forbid them, for such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it. And he took them up in his arms and he laid his hands on them and he blessed them. Man, is there anything sweeter than seeing Jesus take little children in his arms, just hold them and bless them, love them. Just hold them and bless them, love them. And I think maybe he needed it at that point, you know. But I think it's a great picture here to see We've all seen it the pain and destruction that comes through divorce, especially to the little ones. The tears in the middle of the night, and Jesus loves them, especially to the little ones, the tears in the middle of the night, and Jesus loves them.
Speaker 1:Now we got a couple minutes and we're gonna go to, I think, one of the most misused passages in the Bible, malachi chapter two. Can't talk about divorce and not talk about Malachi chapter two. Malachi is the last, the Italian prophet right, the last book of the Old Testament. So the easiest way to find it might be to go to Matthew and turn to the book right before that Malachi, chapter 2. Malachi is a little bit of a debate between God and his people and I got to say the people in the book are really snotty, right. God's people are like when did we ever do anything wrong? Read the book. I mean they'reused as concerning divorce, we beat people up with Malachi 2, 16.
Speaker 1:For the Lord, god of Israel, says that he hates divorce. Did you know? God hates divorce. Let me say it again to you, those that have been through divorce God hates divorce and we just beat people with it in the church. We beat up little kids with this verse God hates divorce. Your parents divorced. God hates divorce. Don't divorced, god hates divorce, don't you know it? And you know we like to find things God hates. That we're not doing, maybe, and we just hold it over the people that have had that trouble and people have been beat up with this verse. But I want to see the heart of God in this. Let's back up to verse 13. This is the second thing you do. They're having a conversation. This is the second thing you do.
Speaker 1:You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying. So he does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say for what reason See you hear that so snotty? For what reason? Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously. Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant, but did he not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring, godly children. Children are involved. Therefore, take heed to your spirit and let no one deal treacherously with the wife of his youth, for the Lord, god of Israel, says that he hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. Therefore. So here we see the whole picture. God says look, I got this against you. You're covering the altar with tears, doing whatever you want, leaving the wife of your youth. She trusted you and you've done treacherously. I hate divorce. God says, not because he hates people to get divorced, but you know, and you can see it here, he hates it because of what it does.
Speaker 1:It takes and just rips apart lives, the kids, the adults, everyone. It rips apart the good thing that God made and I think Jesus takes the little kids up in his arms and he says love you, blesses them. That's good ministry right there. He takes people who have been through it, even people who have done stupid things with their marriages I think there's a certain amount of. He might take those up and like give them a little whooping first. You know that probably would be appropriate. God does that. But we mess ourselves up so badly and you look back to Genesis. It's a good thing and God looks and goes it's good. I made it good and we mess it up so badly. But the grace of God would come in and fix what we've messed up so many times. Bring some joy out of those tears and he can do it. God, heavy stuff, I think.
Speaker 1:I just want to thank you for making life good. Though, god, we look at your original intent and you've made so many things good for us. Your heart towards us is so kind. You're so patient. Your heart towards us is so kind. You're so patient. God, help us to look to you for what we need in this life. God, I just pray for those that have been through it. Maybe it was their fault, maybe it was someone else's fault. But, god, I pray that you would just restore the years that the locusts eat. God, you're so good to do that. You forgive us, you restore us, god, your heart towards us is so kind, god, in all these things, that we would see the good things that you have for us, that we would follow you and obey you. Our own stubbornness we'd set aside God. We need your grace even for this. God, work these things in our heart. However you want to God, we trust you.